where have all the business cards gone?

With the influx of new arrivals in the past 6 months or so, the Women's Coffee Group has staged a renewal of sorts. Since I arrived two years ago, the Wednesday morning get together consisted of a group of women - fluctuating in numbers and diversity - who sat around tables in the Foreigner's Club and drank coffee and tea while chatting. It is a nice starting point when you get here because not only do you meet some other women, but you can get information on activities and travel. I have tended to frequent the coffee group sporadically - I usually attend when I return from the U.S. for some reason.

However, a few women (who I am not surprised, are American) have arrived and have set their sights on getting the group organized and informed. Years ago, in Paris, I was instrumental in the organization and the writing of a newsletter for the women's group of my husband's company. It really took alot of time and effort but I felt like I was doing a worthwhile project. When I arrived here, I did comment that there could be some organization to this group in order to instill some continuity to the activities and such. But I really didn't have the "want to" to devote the time and energy it deserved. So I am thankful for the newbies that have come along and gotten together a directory, have organized events and kept those of us that wanted to be informed - informed.

Although it is not on the scale of Paris or even Aberdeen, it is definitely a good fit for Okpo, South Korea. There were wine tastings, origami lessons and Christmas parties for the orphanage while I was gone. And last Wednesday, one of the groups that sponsors the Cherry Blossom tour that I have been on for the last 2 years, came to the coffee and discussed Korean table manners. I did know some of the information, but I did come out with a few more tidbits.

You really only need to know a few basics. Everyone will usually have their own rice and/or soup bowl, but there will multiple small bowls with side dishes that everyone shares. You will be given chopsticks and a spoon (it is soup spoon size, but with a longer handle) and you can use the spoon for soup and rice but chopsticks for everything else. We have gotten fairly adept with the chopsticks. However, they use stainless steel chopsticks alot and they are more difficult to use - we usually ask for wooden ones when this happens. Protocol states that the eldest is the first to be served and the first to eat. If you are at a meal where everyone is around the same age, the most honored (or the highest on the pay scale!) goes first. I haven't really observed this yet.

The chopsticks and spoon are to be left on the table when you are finished. While eating, you can rest them on the bowl. However, never just stick the chopsticks upright in the rice bowl - she said this meant "death". I wonder whose death? You are also not supposed to pick up a rice or a soup bowl in Korea while eating........but I have witnessed Koreans doing this multiple times!!!?

Blowing your nose at the table is a no, but burping and slurping is a go.

It all was interesting - I was surprised to find out that alot of the younger generations (including our speaker) do not care for kimchi!

On the topic of Korean customs - Ken and I attended a dinner a couple of weeks ago celebrating the naming of one of his company's ships. At a table for ten, I was seated next to a young Korean woman who worked in marketing from Seoul. After I sat down and said hello, she presented her business card to me. I explained that I was not in the business and deferred the card to Ken. After this occurred, everyone stood up and exchanged business cards. When he first arrived, Ken had been instructed on proper business card etiquette, which he shared with me. The exchange of business cards is taken seriously. It is considered impolite to take a card, not look at it and stuff it in your pocket. The ritual is to receive the card with both hands and study the person's name for a moment. I can't even imagine the amount of business cards Ken has presented and received while working here. I wonder where they are?

Since living here, I have tended to pick up cards at restaurants and businesses when leaving the establishment. I think that multiples of things - matchbooks, beads, pine cones, marbles, whatever - are intriguing when placed as a decorative accent in a bowl, basket, plate or whatever. I thought that I would place them in a bowl when I returned to the U.S. as a kind of interesting conversation piece and memento of the places I have been while in Asia. I know that most of them are entirely in Korean or Chinese or Japanese and I can't read them, but I know that looking at them will impart a feeling, a memory and a small token of our time here.