I don't know how to say "excuse me" in korean

Before I came to South Korea, I had high hopes of learning some of the language. Previously, we had lived in France and I regretted that I hadn't learned French any better than I did. I could get by. And I could read and comprehend it far better than I could speak. However, ten years have gone by and I am sure that even alot of my reading abilities have diminished. (I do try to retain some of my French speaking abilities though. We bought our dog in France and I think he is used to me telling him that he is my "beau garcon" and that I love him "beaucoup".) There has been an influx of the French to Okpo in the past year and I have enjoyed getting to know some of the women. Three of them are in my Friday morning art class and I try to pick out what they are saying whenever they converse among themselves. Unfortunately, I seem to only understand a few words here and there and also whenever a number is in the conversation, like cinq heures(5:00).

I bring this up because it was the learning of Korean numbers that ultimately had me give up learning some Korean. Koreans use 2 different sets of numbers - native Korean for counting and stating a number of items (like five boys or three trees) and Sino Korean numbers (which are taken from the Chinese) for anything involving money, phone numbers, dates and time. And if that isn't confusing, only minutes and seconds are in the Sino Korean numbers - hours are in the native Korean! Two sets of numbers to learn..........and I think that the fact that there are two steps (translating the characters into our alphabet and then translating what the characters mean) instead of just translating what the word means also played into it. At least the French language has characters like a, e, i, o and u instead of vowels that look like ladders with and without some of the rungs. French words may have extra accents over some of the characters, but at least the letters are recognizable to me. And let's face it, I might use French (maybe at a restaurant?), but I don't think that Korean will play into my everyday life.

I am sure that by now, you can see into my thinly veiled excuses for not taking the time to learn Korean.

I have learned a pitiful few words in Korean - hello, goodbye, how much, yes, no, thank you - all come to mind. However, I haven't learned the Korean words for "excuse me" or "sorry" as of yet. Maybe this is why? When I first arrived, I would spend afternoons walking the streets of Okpo and wandering into the shops and marketplace. People would bump into me. They would not only bump into me, but they would push me. They would get in front of me in while I was waiting in a line. At that time, I made a mental note to learn "excuse me" and/or "sorry" for these incidents. However, I usually forgot this thought by the time I got home. But you know what? In time, I learned that it didn't really matter if I said "excuse me" while navigating around someone standing in the middle of the sidewalk. Or if I said "sorry" when I was "accidentally" bumped into by someone in the shop aisle. Because when it comes to matters of courtesy regarding personal space in Korea, in my opinion - there doesn't seem to be any.

I wonder if this comes from living in a small, mountainous country, where one's own space is limited? I have told Ken that I think if you told the average Korean that you thought they were being rude when they pushed by you, they would be shocked and apologetic. I don't think that it is intentional or deliberate, I just think it is their way. Some days, it doesn't bother me at all. But some days, it just hits me wrong.

For example, Ken and I went to see a movie last weekend. Afterwards, I went into the ladies restroom, where there was one lady waiting in front of me. There were only 4 stalls, and after she went into an empty stall, I waited for the next available one. Before someone could exit, two young girls came in, went right past me and each planted themselves in front of a stall. Then, another lady came in, walked past me and posted her claim on a third stall. By now, since I was by the first stall, I decided that no one was going to get that one for sure. That one was mine. But I guess it really comes down to the luck of the stall. I lost big time - all three women (that entered the restroom after me) went into their respective stalls before mine emptied!

P.S. I want to reiterate what I have always tried to maintain in this blog - that these are my opinions formed from my experiences living in South Korea. They are no means a reflection of the people or country as a whole. Hopefully, I always try to look at the other side of the coin. Which makes me wonder...............what would a non-English speaking South Korean think about the people they encountered in the aisles of the American grocery store, the mall or the fast food restaurants? Now that's a thought.

one more (and probably my last) spring in korea

Yes,this is my third springtime in South Korea. (I had some difficulty in coming up with a title for this post because of that. After "spring has sprung" and "spring again", what do you say?) I love spring. It is funny, but the weather in Okpo is very similar to the weather in the northern part of Texas. Spring usually arrives in March and April after a short winter. That being said - we still can have cold weather during that time! (Why is the weather always cold, windy and/or rainy on Easter Sunday?) Anyway, I like to see the transitions of all the flowers and trees during the springtime. One day you will see a few buds
- in the next few days, it will be in full bloom.


I know I have had previous pictures of the Japanese magnolia trees here and here, but I couldn't resist a few more this year.


Some of the cherry blossom trees have also started blooming. I may be wrong, but I will bet that they all will be in full bloom in a week or so.


This tree is at the entrance to the trail up the mountain. Notice that even all the trees on the mountain still are not green. The light yellow-green leaves in the foreground are willow trees.



I also caught some photos of wildflowers blooming on the hillside. On Monday, I went on a drive to some sites close to here with a fellow blogger. She is an American living in Singapore with her husband and he was coming here for work related reasons. She was doing some research on Busan and came upon my blog. It was a post where I had a photo of my husband - she showed it to her husband and he realized he knew my husband. Small world of ours, isn't it? Anyway, I enjoyed meeting her and spending some time with her. The bad part of it is that she is a "real" photographer with a "real" camera - since I have looked through her viewfinder, I realized that I might want to upgrade.
We will see.

down the ferret hole

We had a new experience last weekend - a midnight visit from a ferret. Well, we never actually saw the ferret, but we think it was a ferret. I was watching TV in the bedroom and Ken was already asleep. I had the TV volume down low because I was watching Saw 2, 3 or 54 and there was alot of screaming (I actually saw Saw 1, but apparently more were to follow). I really wasn't watching it intently - I was just trying to fall asleep. We only have a movie channel and CNN in English on the bedroom TV, so I was limited in my selection (trying to explain my movie choice!).

Back to the ferret. I heard a noise downstairs, so I turned the volume off completely. Listening for awhile longer, I heard it again. It sounded like a plastic trash bag rustling along with a little bit of banging. I woke Ken up and we listened some more. We finally got up and ventured downstairs. The storage room is at the bottom of the stairs, so we armed ourselves with a broom and a 3-iron (a golf club - Ken's weapon of choice). After turning on all the lights, opening every cabinet in the kitchen, and yelling "off with her head" (not really, but it kind of went with the title of the post!), we relaxed somewhat. Ken started taking the golf club and sweeping it under the two sofas we have. Underneath one of them came a plastic bag with a hard piece of bread in it. What I find humorous at this time is the fact that we really didn't think too much of this. I kept asking how in the world the bread got there. Either Ken was too tired (he had been up since 5 a.m. and had also played golf that day) or he didn't want to panic me, so he just kept saying "I don't know". For some dumb reason, I thought that maybe one of us had left the bread on the couch. I guess I was tired too....!

We headed back up to bed. Ken instantly fell back asleep and I was just dozing off when I heard the noises again. I woke him up again. We both listened for awhile. Ken said, "Do you think we should go down?" I said, "Let's just listen for a moment longer." I was actually hoping that I would stay in bed and he would go down. No such luck - I could tell by his breathing that he was back asleep in seconds.
I guess I dozed off shortly too - because I woke up to the noise again. ONCE AGAIN, I woke Ken up and we went downstairs and repeated the previous downstairs scenario. Except this time, we opened the cabinet above the stove that houses the equipment for the exhaust fan. The foil tube that was supposed to be attached to the wall was not attached to the wall.

There was a hole in the wall. Ken took a towel and stuffed it into the hole. Thinking all was well, we closed the kitchen door and then closed the bedroom door for good measure.

The next thing I know, it is 6 in the morning and Ken wakes me up to tell me that something had urinated and pooped in our kitchen. I won't go into detail, but it was obvious it wasn't a mouse or rat by the droppings. Maybe the size of a small cat or dog. He also added that whenever I decided to get up, WE would go into the kitchen and trap the animal. I promptly told him I wasn't getting up right now (thinking he would take care of it by the time I got up?). He said he needed some coffee and was going to the office to get some (remember, we live in small town Korea, no Starbucks or convenience stores with carafes of coffee).

When he returned, he said that we needed to go into the kitchen and close the door after us to trap it. And I said no. Long story short (sorry - it already is a long story), a neighbor came over to help Ken. After much searching (more bread wrappers under the other couch), they came to the conclusion that the animal had gone back through the hole (the towel was shredded). Ken then affixed a plastic plate over the hole.
We decided just to not use the exhaust fan and have the management fix it because we felt that this critter would just get in again. Why do we think it was a ferret? Two other residents of the rowhouses have had incidents with them in their houses, so we thought it was probably the same. Ken was disappointed he wasn't able to trap it. He said they are pretty animals. After looking them up, I decided that they looked too much like the rat and possum persuasion for me. I couldn't believe all the websites that sold ferret toys and clothes. Even youtube videos. Check this one out - if he could do this, one could easily drag bread wrappers under the sofa.


We really haven't seen too much wildlife (or animals of any kind) on the island. We have seen a couple of pheasants around our place and an occasional squirrel in the hillside. You might see a cow in a field rarely, but see black goats in fields often.




Yesterday, I came across a group of escapees on the road.



Hopefully, they got back home in one piece.

where have all the business cards gone?

With the influx of new arrivals in the past 6 months or so, the Women's Coffee Group has staged a renewal of sorts. Since I arrived two years ago, the Wednesday morning get together consisted of a group of women - fluctuating in numbers and diversity - who sat around tables in the Foreigner's Club and drank coffee and tea while chatting. It is a nice starting point when you get here because not only do you meet some other women, but you can get information on activities and travel. I have tended to frequent the coffee group sporadically - I usually attend when I return from the U.S. for some reason.

However, a few women (who I am not surprised, are American) have arrived and have set their sights on getting the group organized and informed. Years ago, in Paris, I was instrumental in the organization and the writing of a newsletter for the women's group of my husband's company. It really took alot of time and effort but I felt like I was doing a worthwhile project. When I arrived here, I did comment that there could be some organization to this group in order to instill some continuity to the activities and such. But I really didn't have the "want to" to devote the time and energy it deserved. So I am thankful for the newbies that have come along and gotten together a directory, have organized events and kept those of us that wanted to be informed - informed.

Although it is not on the scale of Paris or even Aberdeen, it is definitely a good fit for Okpo, South Korea. There were wine tastings, origami lessons and Christmas parties for the orphanage while I was gone. And last Wednesday, one of the groups that sponsors the Cherry Blossom tour that I have been on for the last 2 years, came to the coffee and discussed Korean table manners. I did know some of the information, but I did come out with a few more tidbits.

You really only need to know a few basics. Everyone will usually have their own rice and/or soup bowl, but there will multiple small bowls with side dishes that everyone shares. You will be given chopsticks and a spoon (it is soup spoon size, but with a longer handle) and you can use the spoon for soup and rice but chopsticks for everything else. We have gotten fairly adept with the chopsticks. However, they use stainless steel chopsticks alot and they are more difficult to use - we usually ask for wooden ones when this happens. Protocol states that the eldest is the first to be served and the first to eat. If you are at a meal where everyone is around the same age, the most honored (or the highest on the pay scale!) goes first. I haven't really observed this yet.

The chopsticks and spoon are to be left on the table when you are finished. While eating, you can rest them on the bowl. However, never just stick the chopsticks upright in the rice bowl - she said this meant "death". I wonder whose death? You are also not supposed to pick up a rice or a soup bowl in Korea while eating........but I have witnessed Koreans doing this multiple times!!!?

Blowing your nose at the table is a no, but burping and slurping is a go.

It all was interesting - I was surprised to find out that alot of the younger generations (including our speaker) do not care for kimchi!

On the topic of Korean customs - Ken and I attended a dinner a couple of weeks ago celebrating the naming of one of his company's ships. At a table for ten, I was seated next to a young Korean woman who worked in marketing from Seoul. After I sat down and said hello, she presented her business card to me. I explained that I was not in the business and deferred the card to Ken. After this occurred, everyone stood up and exchanged business cards. When he first arrived, Ken had been instructed on proper business card etiquette, which he shared with me. The exchange of business cards is taken seriously. It is considered impolite to take a card, not look at it and stuff it in your pocket. The ritual is to receive the card with both hands and study the person's name for a moment. I can't even imagine the amount of business cards Ken has presented and received while working here. I wonder where they are?

Since living here, I have tended to pick up cards at restaurants and businesses when leaving the establishment. I think that multiples of things - matchbooks, beads, pine cones, marbles, whatever - are intriguing when placed as a decorative accent in a bowl, basket, plate or whatever. I thought that I would place them in a bowl when I returned to the U.S. as a kind of interesting conversation piece and memento of the places I have been while in Asia. I know that most of them are entirely in Korean or Chinese or Japanese and I can't read them, but I know that looking at them will impart a feeling, a memory and a small token of our time here.